After yesterday’s debacle with Bob having to get his mouth washed out with soap, he turned over a new leaf and got back into the Christmas spirit of being kind to others. The Toy Story guys were so happy to have Bob reading them a story.

Bob can be a good elf. Sometimes.

And no, I still have nothing better to do with my time. (I really do, but this is just too fun to stop!)

In homage to our most favorite holiday movie here at the Beyrer’s, Bob’s taken a page or two from A Christmas Story.

Bob with the real deal leg lamp. “Oh, would you look at that?! It’s indescribably beautiful! It reminds me of the 4th of July!” “It’s a major award”.

But then, things took a turn for the worse after Bob got out of the tree.

“Only I didn’t say Fudge. I said THE word, the big one, the queen mother of all dirty words. The F dash dash dash word.”

“Over the years I got to be quite a connoisseur of soap. Though my personal preference was for Lux, I found that Palmolive had a nice, piquant after-dinner flavor – heavy, but with a touch of mellow smoothness. Life Buoy, on the other hand… YECCHH!” Oh Bob, what are we going to do with you? “What brought you to this lowly place?” “It was….it was…. soap poisioning.”

Keep it clean please, Bob. This is a family blog.

There’s only one me in this house, and it’s not you.

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but they do not sell Canons in that size. And what are your settings, anyway?

No one gets to use the imac. Even if you spend all of your free time looking at yourself.  The last straws. My Kindle AND my wrist warmers?? Oh, you are SO in trouble, mister.  You had better back off, Bob. You are quickly headed down the wrong elf path buddy.

*thank you to Lindsay Stradner for some of the elf on the shelf ideas*

Every time I turn around that elf is into something else.

Apparently, he likes music. Oldies especially. And Let it Snow most of all.

So, is Bob good… …or evil? Clearly, he’s been in our house too long already and picking up bad Christmas habits from John.  Who, me? Bob decided that since there wasn’t enough snow outside, plus the fact that its way too cold for humans or elves out there lately, that he’d make snow angels (sugar elves?) on the kitchen counter. Lucky for Bob, Miriam our cleaning lady was coming over later that morning to clean up his mess. Bob needs to be getting a job.  Yes, I know. Still too much time on my hands. Or perhaps its just a minor nervous breakdown from the lack of sleep and tons of work I’ve been doing lately. I have even better Bob posts coming up until Christmas! Stay tuned.

After a spin around the neighborhood in the minivan (which he took without permission, btw. Maybe I’ll be sending Santa a letter on Bob’s behavior!)

Bob decided to wait at the mailbox for the mailman. He was getting a little impatient… when the mail arrived. I hate it when he opens the mail before me. But he seems to really enjoy all the christmas cards, especially the bsquared ones! Looking for some quiet time after his adventures he thought he could make like Tinkerbell and hide in the lantern.  Or play “peek-a-bob” behind the tree. Or just take a swing on the ornaments. It was getting a little chilly outside so Bob decided to come back in.  More adventures of Bob coming tomorrow. And then just wait till you see what he gets into next week.

And no, I don’t have anything better to do with my time. Thanks for asking though.